Thursday, January 2, 2014


    By: Yahtzee Croshaw

    Genre: Fantasy, humor

    Read if:
    1) You play MMORPG's
    2) You find self pretentious priests insufferable
    3) You don't play MMORPG's but are still an awesome person

    The Creator

    PictureThis guy ^
        The man who sacrifices his breathing to bring you thorough reviews of the newest and hottest games on the market has kindly taken the time to write the world a little story.

        The Escapist brings you ZERO PUNCTUATION!
    Go here:
    watch and love.

        Now, given this background I am tempted to shred this book to pieces, light the remains on fire, and place them in my cats litter box (figuratively speaking of course.) But alas, I am not Yahtzee and instead of berating the few things I do end up enjoying with words so cold the authors balls shrivel up, I have decided to keep my words so warm you could roast marshmallows over them.

    Back to Business

        Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in Azeroth? Wait sorry, did I say Azeroth? I meant Mogworld. My bad.  Or atleast wondered what the daily lives of these people are like? Well, apparently it's something like this.

        Once a human, once a student, once a mage in training, once a boy with no direction. Now, Jim is a man with a mission. Well, actually he's not really a man anymore. His mission: to die for good. You see, after 40 years of rotting away in the dark depths of his tomb caressed by the sweet and comforting embrace of death, Jim was resurrected and forced to join an army of undead minions.

        After countless attempts at trying to once again obtain the peace he felt in death, Jim realizes it can't be done no matter what religion he converts to. He then comes to learn that nowadays, no one can die. Once killed, everyone is simply resurrected at the nearest church. This provides Jim with a mystery that manages to distract him from his suicide spree, although not for long. He sets off on a journey to find a group that he hopes can help answer his questions and tell him how he can die one last time.

        The book is strewn with little gems that appear in the form of characters. Let's see, we have:
    • Mr. Wonderful, a masochistic psychopathic elf
    • Meryl, a happy-go-lucky undead girl in pigtails whose dreams of a world of pure-breeds are strong enough to rival those of Hitler
    • Thaddeus, a self-righteous priest who refuses to give up the idea that his God rose him from the dead for some divine reason.
        The fact that these characters are all part of an online role playing game is not exactly kept a secret. It's pretty straight forward to the reader but all the suspense lies in whether or not this small little fact will ever be revealed to Jim who so desperately wants to know the truth.

        Overall, I found the general idea intriguing, the dialogue witty, and the story amusing and entertaining. It was a bit slow throughout most parts and heavily worded but in the end, I enjoyed it. See, that wasn't so hard to be nice. But I will admit, it was nowhere near as fun as being harshly critical.

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